Thomas Mackenzie

Another year has come and gone. Just like the year before it, nothing has really changed. Can I complain? I'm sure that I could find something, looking back on everything, but I don't want to. I can honestly say that this has been a good year. Before I can really go on with the New Year's Resolutions, I have to thank everyone for a great Christmas, not just for me, but for Maddie as well. Without everyone, I have no idea where I would be. Most importantly, I'm grateful for my daughter. Even though she's only six, she still finds a way to teach me something new everyday (whether it's patience or something she learned in school). I'm not religious, per say, but I do thank someone for every single day that I have with her. Now, it's hard to believe that in Feburary she's going to turn seven. Eventually, seven will turn in to ten and ten will turn into twenty and it's just painful to think about. On the other hand, it has also taught me to not take any of these days for granted.

Now that my rambling is out of the way, I promised Maddie that I would post her New Year's Resolutions. Here's what she came up with: to find all the animals in Big Sky a home (I think she meant ours). She said that she's making a list with more resolutions, but I think that one alone would probably take a majority of the year.

My only New Year's Resolution is to be home more often for her. I don't want to become one of those parents that spend their entire kid's childhood working. I made that decision a long time ago.

Sometimes, I wish that shows like House or Grey's Anatomy had half of it right. There's a lot of the drama that goes down in the ER, but it's nothing like it is on television. It's twice as scary, hectic, and it's damn impossible to solve all of the night's problems in a single hour. Anyone that would try, would have to be out of their damn mind. I've only been working in Telluride a year, but it's not any different than it is in Denver. Well, I take that back. The ER's in Denver are usually packed with twice as many hypochondriacs, basket cases, and the small percentage of people that are actually sick, and that wasn't even during flu season.

Today is the first day I've had off, without being on call, in a long time. Which is good, because I can honestly say that I've needed it without feeling bad. The other day, we had this call come in. It was a head-on collision between two vehicles. I don't know the details of who hit what first, but the medics brought in a mother and her seven year old daughter. I took on the little girl's case, and a part of me wishes that I hadn't. It kills me to see kids in the ER, for any reason, because all I can think of is Madeline. I don't know what I would do if something was to happen to her, and all I could see in the little girl was Maddie's face. I've gotten over this, but there are just times when I can't get it out of my head - all of those nagging what-ifs, and I know that I can't protect Maddie from everything in life, but that doesn't mean that I won't try.

Speaking of Maddie, I had the chance to pick her up from school today. I think that she was a little surprised at first, but we went by the apartment first and then we ended up going on a picnic (her idea). I wasn't really hungry, but I let Madeline pack the basket - which consisted of PB&J's, animal crackers, and a juice box. We had enough time to eat, and then she got tired of hanging out with Dad and wanted to go play with the other kids. I had to literally pick her up and carry her over my shoulder out of the playground when it was time to go, but now it was worth it. She's out like a light. I know that she will ask to go back tomorrow, but I'm going to take her to get her flu shot. Then after that? Who knows. Tomorrow is officially, anything-goes-Saturday.

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble( . )

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